Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just pee around me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
