yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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