i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
