It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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