When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
