Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
