I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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