I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
