pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Vodka?
Forever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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