it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
