We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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