i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
