I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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