That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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