Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
