He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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