Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

someone owes me an orgasm

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

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(555): View more from

Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.

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(206): View more from Washington

AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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(773): View more from Illinois

Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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(407): View more from Florida

Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around

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(541): View more from Oregon

It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?

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