At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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