Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
