I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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