ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
