I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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