its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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