I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
