I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
