I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
