Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
