My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
