If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
