dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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