And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
