i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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