haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
this boner is exhausting
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
