Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
