Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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