I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
