I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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