I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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