that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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