I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
