her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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