We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
