I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
