debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize