hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
