remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
