I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
