I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
