I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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