I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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