would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
