I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
