I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
