Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize