you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
