Only a mothe r could love this liver
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
