he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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