help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
