Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
