The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
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