Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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