First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
