dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
