When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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