her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
